Where did the weekend go

Why is it that weekends just speed past? Sure, I worked this Saturday morning, but it seemed a lot shorter than a day and a half of rest and relaxation. Probably because I didn’t really rest or relax.

All dressed up

All dressed up

We had a wedding to attend on Saturday for Mr Imperfect’s friends. He’s friends with both the bride and groom. They had a church wedding in the burbs in the arvo followed by the reception in the city in the evening. So far, I’ve only been to two weddings. Neither of those were church weddings with my friend while being religious, still opting for a short wedding with a priest and my other friend S opting for one by a celebrant in the Botanical gardens. While this wedding was long by those standards, it was still way shorter {and therefore more bearable} than Indian weddings! It was a beautiful ceremony. The reception was quite lovely too. The food was great and the speech by the groom in particular was very sweet. What surprised me was that there wasn’t a single speech by any of the women — no mums, no bridesmaid and no bride. But the groom, the best man, and fathers from both sides spoke. It frustrated me a bit but then again, each to their own. It was a very traditional wedding  carefully planned and thought out.

Not something I’m going to be doing.

Tara Moss signing books

Tara Moss signing books

On Sunday, I headed down to the Southern Highlands after making a decision mid-last week to see Tara Moss speak as part of the Sydney Writer’s Festival in Bowral. She is such an intelligent and charming woman. I’ve heard her speak before and I’m in awe. I’m so looking forward to reading her book The Fictional Woman. After her talk, I got my book signed by her and headed to have a solo coffee while editing my short stories for uni. They are due this week.

Editing those stories with a cuppa

Editing those stories with a cuppa

It was lovely to head down to Bowral and while I enjoyed most of my weekend, it wasn’t completely without the downs I have been experiencing. It’s good to know though that I can still plaster a smile on my face and carry on.

This time, next week, if all goes to plan, I will be up in the air on my way to San Francisco. I’m shitting myself at all that’ s left to do and am a bit anxious about the flying part {International travel does that to me}. I’m also not looking forward to leaving my kitties and Mr Imperfect for 5 whole weeks. Of course, seeing my family and one of my friends is definitely something to look forward to.

How was your weekend? Get up to anything exciting?

Do share!

***Linking with Alicia for Open Slather and Mel for Microblog Mondays***

Until next time,

Cheers!!!


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A mindful walk

You probably know that I haven’t been feeling the best in terms of my mood. While I’m hoping it will pass, I have been doing things to help myself. One such thing was on Sunday. Mr Imperfect and I went for a walk at our local beach and I decided to take my proper point-and-shoot camera with me. It’s not seen the light of day for ages!

It was the best decision as Sunday turned out to be pretty damn good. I love the beach and the walk along the Esplanade. We also saw four fishermen who managed to get their boat stuck on the rocks. Apart from that, I enjoyed capturing moments with surfers and divers and just people walking and enjoying their Sunday. Most importantly, I just soaked in the sunshine, the fresh air and remembered the wonderful lifestyle we had.

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Yes, it was a mindfully blissful morning. Just what the psychologist ordered 😉

***Linking with Kylie for One Perfect Moment***

Until next time,

Cheers!!!


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You know the signs

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You know the signs.

You want to sleep in that little bit longer. Or just not wake up to face the day at all. You want to stop doing things you know will make you feel better. Like exercising. You push yourself on some mornings because you know it is good for you. But it doesn’t feel the same. It doesn’t give you the pleasure  like it used to.

You know the signs.

You are constantly tired. Even after all the sleep-ins. You look like death, with dark circles under your eyes. You are unmotivated. You could just sit in front of the telly and stare into space. Writing, blogging, telling stories, reading — they all take a backseat. You don’t feel like going to work. Or meeting people. You’d rather curl up in bed dead to the world.

You know the signs.

You cry easily. The thoughts — the oh-so-negative thoughts — they seem to outweigh the rational and positive ones. They have also overpowered the usual worries. It has become exhausting to worry. The negativity is draining and it’s the reason you are teary.

You know the signs.

You just want to eat. Junk food, salty food, cheese and chocolate. You don’t crave anything healthy. It’s only the stuff that’s bad for you. That will later make you feel guilty. Because you don’t feel enough guilt already.

You know the signs.

You start to doubt yourself and all your abilities. You second guess every word you utter. Or every opinion you had. You doubt whether you are worthwhile as a person. You start to believe that not many people love you or care about you. That you are all alone.

You know the signs.

You don’t feel like going to work. Or meeting people. You’d rather curl up in bed or just stay indoors shutting out the world. You start to tell stories but you can’t concentrate. It’s easier to get sucked in by the negativity.

You know the signs.

Which is why you drag yourself out of bed and exercise anyway. You plaster a smile for the world to see even though your heart is heavy. You cover the dark circles with concealer and make up looking more radiant than you could ever feel. You distract yourself from your demons by pushing yourself to work. You listen to upbeat songs in the car. You sing out loud and out of tune. You laugh with your workmates and make an effort to socialise. You don’t listen to those voices of self-loathing. It’s easy to forget.

Until you are by yourself. Then you slip off that mask and let the tears gently roll.

Image source: Pixabay


Until next time,


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Home Hello: Saying hello to a clean home

This is a sponsored post for Home Hello

Home Hello

Relax as your home is cleaned

I’ve blogged several times before about how much I dislike cleaning my unit. Of course, I do it anyway but it’s never fun. Event though it’s just a 2 bedroom unit, you’d be amazed at how much mess can gather thanks to two fur-babies that shed and one human that sheds. {Yes, that’s me}.

Growing up in India, almost every home has a maid. The richer you are, the more chores your maid does. Given that we weren’t too rich, we had a maid to sweep and mop the house. Once a month she’d clean the bathrooms {we did it the rest of the time} and twice a year, she’d help my mum do a spring clean. Of course, since moving to Australia, I had to give up that luxury. There’s no way I could afford to have someone clean my house on a weekly basis let alone, a daily one.

So when I got contacted by Home Hello to review their services, to say I was excited was an understatement. It meant that for one fortnight at least, I could let someone else do my cleaning and focus instead, on my assignment. Since I was taking time off work to focus on my assignments, I chose to book a Home Hello cleaner for a Monday morning.

All I had to do was visit their website and enter my postcode and then enter the number of bedrooms and bathrooms in my unit. They recommended 3 hours to clean it which I didn’t bother changing at the time. I had the choice for the cleaner to bring their own products too. Once I entered my details (name, address and contact), I was able to choose the time and day I wanted someone to come and clean my place. I then entered my credit card details and was allocated a cleaner by Home Hello.

On the day, the allocated cleaner arrived 10 minutes early. My unit was a bomb but I had tried my best to tidy some of it. The less said about the kitchen, the better. When the cleaner came in, I showed him the unit and then went on to my assignment while he busied himself. He dusted the house, made the bathroom sparkle, cleaned the dusty blinds, vacuumed the floors and finally scrubbed my kitchen till it was unrecognisable. He even cleaned my microwave oven on the inside! He finished within a couple of hours and the place looked pretty damn good.

The only thing I wish he’d done was move the coffee table as well as the dining chairs to vacuum. But it wasn’t too bad. I also realised that 3 hours for my unit is an overestimation and when I book again, I’ll just go for 2 hours. They charge $25 per hour if you book on a recurrent basis; else it’s $29 per hour for a one-off.

Will I use them again? Maybe not regularly as it’s a luxury I can’t afford but I would certainly consider using them if I’m really busy and have a dinner party or people coming over.

Do you like cleaning your house? Or are you able to enjoy the luxury of having someone do it for you?

Do share!

Note: While I wasn’t offered monetary compensation for the review, I was offered a free clean by Home Hello. All opinions are my own. 

***Linking with Alicia for Open Slather and Kirsty for I Must Confess***

Until next time,

Cheers!!!


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Feminism Friday: The victim is NOT responsible for violence

Feminism Friday

When I was returning home on the train on Wednesday night, I was scrolling through my Facebook feed. I saw that Kerri Sackville had shared an article she was outraged about. When I read it, I was appalled on so many levels.

In this article, clinical psychologist, Sallee McLaren asserts that women are partly responsible for domestic violence. Apparently, as women, we are trained to be submissive and the first time our male partner is aggressive at a 4/10, we tolerate it, thereby teaching him, aggression is ok. Because he thinks he can get away with it, he escalates it next time to a 6/10 and might call us a name this time. Once again, we tolerate it and submit teaching him aggression is ok. So the next time, he escalates even more and will swear at us and hit us. Voila! Ultimately, we are responsible for getting ourselves whacked shitless. Or well, killed.

As a psychologist {I’m a developmental psychologist, in case you wondered}, it terrifies me that this woman is practising and I wonder what she’s telling her vulnerable clients.

I understand when she says we have been socialised to be submissive. Yes, we have. But that’s about all I agree with. What McLaren forgets is that we have been socialised this way thanks to the patriarchal society we all live in. While she is trying to use behavioural principles of reward and punishment to her DV argument, she forgets that the perpetrator has been rewarded before. Most likely, he has learnt from a young age in this patriarchal society, that it is ok to be aggressive and violent towards women. He has probably had role models when he was a kid that showed him men who beat women are still revered by society. The many sports stars he has loved or the actors he has watched or maybe even his father or uncle have all gotten away with treating women badly and for bashing women up. When this is learnt, no matter how much a partner later tries to ‘train’ him, she will not be successful. Unlike Pavlov’s dog, this man has a brain.

If this man’s anger is a 4/10 and the woman does stand up to him, he is more than likely going to escalate to a straight 10/10 because of his previous learning. McLaren has forgotten that even in social learning theory, while environment (in this example, the woman) and behaviour (the reward) play a part, they are not mutually exclusive from personal factors of the individual. In other words, when there is a brain and thinking involved, the person can still make decisions for themselves. They are not passive.

So Ms McLaren, rather than blaming adult victims of domestic violence, how about blame the patriarchal system that teaches men it’s okay to be violent towards women? The only time we can realistically train men’s attitudes is when they are young boys. When they are still capable of learning consequences. Once they get to their teenage years and adulthood, it’s far too late.

This is exactly why I am livid at the government too for not providing any funding whatsoever this budget for family violence. They have billions to give to terrorism and border protection when 0 people have been killed in Australia in 2015. Yet, with 37 women currently dead in 2015, we have nothing there to show for it. Nothing there to prevent it.

It angers me.

***Linking with Grace for FYBF and Ann for Things I Know***

Until next time,


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